by Bob Wade
For years I have heard people say, “don’t live through your kids, just be a supportive parent.” To which I would always respond, “I am a supportive parent, that’s why I’m here.” In fact, it’s likely why you are on this website in the first place. We are involved with our kids because we love them. We want the best for them, we want them to succeed. Granted there may be times when we can be unrealistic and want them to play at a level above their skills.
So how do we balance their desire to play and our desire to see them play well?
Here are some thoughts:
Make sure you know what your kid wants. As parents we can easily visualize our kid as the next Roger Clemens. But is that what they want? Pitching is stressful. A good pitcher can dominate a game and be a hero, but they can also be a loser if they have a poor performance. My older son hated the thought of pitching, it wasn’t his thing; my younger son likes the challenge.
Push them, but when you push, do it lovingly. All parents push. It is how kids develop. We stand them up when they are ten months old and let them go, knowing they are going to fall eventually. We run behind them at five, pushing the back of their bicycles . . . then we let them go. Of course we push. My youngest son begged me to pitch to him before he could complete a sentence. Back then I lobbed them in, straight down the middle. You see, at that time in his life that’s all he needed. Today, I throw curve balls at his belly button, isn’t that awful. Well, no actually. He’s fourteen, loves the game, and understands curve balls are going to be coming at his navel, even his head. He needs to be ready; it’s what he wants. I know, I asked him how far do you want me to push you?
Never let your love become conditional. Baseball is a game full of failure. You can make the Hall of Fame by failing 7 out of 10 times. Yet, too often our kids feel as though they have failed us when they simply performed badly. Believe me, they don’t want to fail, but they will at times, both inside and outside of baseball. What they need to know is, win or lose, succeed or fail, we love them, period.
What would be nice here is a role model we could emulate. Fortunately, we have the perfect role model available to us. When it comes to unconditional love the only real role model is Jesus Christ. You see, when we begin a relationship with Him by faith, He loves us without condition. His love isn’t predicated on if, our business succeeds, or our marriage stays together. Unconditional Love, has no I love you “if” or I love you “because” attached to it.
In fact, He actually loves us even though we fail spiritually; listen to what the book of Romans says “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
Can I encourage you? No one will ever love you so perfectly, as Jesus Christ. That’s who He is, the Unconditional Lover of others. Dad, that’s a role model worth emulating.
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